22. That was the magical number. 22. I was 22 years old. Not a problem in itself. Only if you took into consideration the fact that I was still a virgin. Not that I really suffered because of it; I had two healthy hands. But it somehow didn´t feel right. And avoiding the issue when I talked with my buddies became more and more tedious. I just hoped they didn´t have a clue about my stigma.

But the clue hinting at the fact was obvious enough. It was right at the front of my head and was commonly known as a face. My mother in her sometimes less than loving ways had assured me that I was ugly right when I started my difficult journey into puberty. Her observation matched my own one pretty well, so the fact was never really in question.

Of course, I avoided contact with the mysterious species called “girls” as much as I could from then on. No need to bother them with the ungainly sight of my face or the sudden ineloquence that befell me in their presence.

So I watched my way more handsome buddies making their first experiences, having their first relationships, having their first fights and breakups. It all was quite interesting, but my main problem was to keep the fact I was totally inexperienced a secret. Actually, it turned out nobody suspected that I hadn´t even kissed a girl or nobody gave a shit while being busy with their own little dramas.

The situation even got worse when I began to study at a university that turned out to have almost no female students.

So there I was, at one of the campus parties. I guessed that several hundred boys and a few girls were present. The exact number was impossible to tell. But one exact number was quite easy to tell. One. There surely was exactly one virgin present. Me.

Okay, over there were my buddies. Right at the bar. I had enough reason and opportunity to get royally hammered. And that was exactly what I did.


Ringing. Pain. Cotton in my mouth. Pain in my head. Have I mentioned the pain? And that damn ringing again. This shitty old phone ringtone almost every iPhone used. Please… not now. This pain… oh my God.

“Stop this damn ringing!” was what I wanted to shout in a loud and assertive voice. A muffled “Hmmmbbmmm…” was what escaped my mouth. Finally my brain cleared enough to make me realize that it was my own phone that nearly killed me acoustically.

“Anything you want to do about it?” someone asked me.

Hey, that voice was definitely female. And, well, I couldn´t deny the fact that I was in somebody´s bed. There were white mice printed on a light blue background so I could safely assume that this was not my own bed, which showed some cool Star Wars scenes. And another fact was quite obvious – I had one hell of an hangover.

Okay, the first priority was to save my few remaining brain cells – silence the damn phone. I refused to look around, afraid to fully perceive the situation and its implications. I had no idea what had happened during the last few hours and I wasn´t sure if I wanted to find out. So my right hand gingerly moved in the general direction of the torturing sound and I was relieved to find my phone lying on a surface that confusingly felt like plush. No, I definitely wasn´t at home. No plush nightstands to be found there, not a single one.

With the phone silenced, the most urgent problem was solved. It gave me a little time to tackle the next one. I figured it was time to lift my eyes and take in the surroundings. But I decided to approach the task cautiously. Opening one eye to a slit would have to be enough. No sense in overdosing reality at this point.

There were more white mice everywhere. Beneath them was what felt suspiciously like my totally nude body. Okay man, these are some facts I can work with, I thought.

#1 – I was naked.

#2 – I was in a bed obviously belonging to a female. No self-respecting male would own bedsheets with white mice.

#3 – My phone was present and still charged.

Okay, fact #3 led me to believe that I hadn´t missed much time. This was probably the morning after the party. Good.

Facts #1 and #2 somehow led me to the impression that I might have gotten laid last night. Which led me to the conclusion that the girl in question must be overwhelmingly ugly to put up with someone like me. The thing was – I might have been ugly. But I still disliked ugly girls. Hypocrite? Yes. So this led me to:

#4 – I didn´t really want to look at the female that was obviously present in this room.

What was seen coudn´t be unseen. So could I somehow sneak out without looking at her? And maybe pretend afterwards that she was totally hot? No, unlikely. Not as thoroughly undressed as I was.

And boy, if I really had been laid, I had no memory of it. Oh, shit…

“Coffee? Water? Aspirin?”

Uh, she was near. Very near. Maybe about one meter to my left. Her voice was pleasant enough, but I knew from experience that the ugliest girls were quite often very friendly, had a nice voice and looked very promising from behind. Okay, man, get over with it. So I finally shifted my eyes towards her.

Hey, not bad. Okay, she was no supermodel. But she was thoroughly out of my league nonetheless. Okay, that was no big deal. But she was really quite pretty. More than I ever had hoped to achieve. She was small, had straight, long brunette hair and a cute face. And she looked friendly, which seemed a little odd. A pretty girl was not supposed to look friendly upon finding me lying naked in her bed.

“Ugh, um.” Come on, you´ve fucked her. Maybe. Hopefully. Okay, you´ve possibly fucked her. Now talk to her. How hard can it be? “Yes, thanks.” Good, I´m turning into some kind of womanizer.

“Okay.” She smiled and lifted her butt from the bed she was sitting on. She turned around and I saw that all she wore was a T-shirt. Not a huge male T-Shirt covering her petite body. No, this one ended right at her waist. I was actually looking at a girl´s nude butt. A cute butt, to be more precise. Okay, I´ve seen them before while entertaining my right hand with the more relevant half of the internet. But I had never seen one live and this close. Okay, this increased the probability of us really having had intercourse. Damn, and I still didn´t have the slightest idea about it.

She came back and handed me the pill, water and the liquid energizer. I gulped it all down.

“Bad hangover?”

“Uh, yeah. Terrible.”

“Peter, I want to thank you for last night.”

“What?” What the hell was she talking about? Had I maybe just fixed her computer and nothing else had happened? This was usually the only reason why females ever thanked me. She would certainly not thank me for participating in the process of losing my virginity. So she was obviously talking about something else.

“You were marvelous,” she went on.

“Uh, thanks.”

“Was it okay for you too?” Shit, what was she talking about? Baking a cake? Having wild sex? Watching Mr. Bean? Painting the kitchen?

“Oh, yeah.” Don´t be too specific as long as it isn´t clear what we´re talking about.

“I´m glad, Peter.” Damn. She knew my name. She was at a distinctive advantage.

“It´s just a shame that you fell asleep while doing it.”

Shit. Fell asleep while doing what? Certainly not while I lost my virginity? My life was shitty, but hopefully not THAT shitty. But probably also not while knitting a sock. I could rule that one out at least, I had no idea about knitting.

“Maybe we can continue, now that I´m awake?” That was a safe route. Whatever we had done last night, she seemed to have liked it. Proposing to continue was certainly a good way to get some information about the process.

“You would? I mean, it must have been painful for you.”

What? Painful? Had we tried some hard s/m stuff with me on the receiving side? And I had just foolishly proposed to do it again? Apart from my headache I seemed to be unharmed, but these things might be done without lasting damage.

“No, not really.” Well, the only manly thing to say, right? I just hoped I hadn´t held the nails while she learned how to use a hammer last night.

“Okay, today it´s my turn. You started last night and it was marvelous, just a dream.” Seriously? Something I had done was “like a dream” for a female being? I furiously racked my brain what that might have been. I could rule out sex by now. Sex performed by a virgin couldn´t have been marvelous. Okay, I had read a lot about the issue to be prepared for the unlikely event. But still, without any practice there was not a chance that I had suddenly turned into Casanova.

“Go ahead.” I said, still keeping my cards closely to my chest.

“No pun intended, huh?” Pun? What was she talking about? She just laughed, ripped the sheets away and plunged her mouth onto my semi-erect dick.

Wait, wait, wait. This couldn´t really happen. Hey, stop, space-time continuum. This is Peter, not Brad Pitt. A reasonably pretty girl is not supposed to suck my dick. Which, by the way, had a totally different opinion about the matter. It soon felt like I could have punched holes into the walls with it. Assuming the need for this arose for this nameless girl. Which seemed unlikely.

Anyway, my dick wasn´t used to being touched by anything but my own hands and was enthusiastically agreeing with the surprising turn of events. And I knew the damn thing, it would stay this way for quite some time. Maybe I was desensitized by all the wanking, but it was always the same. It was like a curse. My dick would get hard in no time and it was hard work and took quite a while to pursuade it to change this status again. I really had to think of extremely erotic things to overcome that hurdle. And even then it took 30 or up to 60 minutes, which had always limited my relief options whenever I had a short break between lectures in my small apartment. So the nameless girl had unwittingly dedicated herself to a hard piece of work and I would have pitied her if I hadn´t been that surprised still. My mind wasn´t foggy with passion or anything like it. It never was, that was another side effect of my less than sensitive reproductive organ. Wanking was never a big experience for me, it was a mere duty to find some relief. Somehow this didn´t match the stories the other guys exchanged about the subject.

She looked up at me now and took my little bastard out of her mouth.

“May I?” Oh, shit, now comes the painful part? But I still nodded bravely, assuming that I could stop things any time. At least in case she didn´t plan to tie me up.

“Thank you,” she said, which didn´t alleviate my apprehension. Did she need my dick hard for whatever she had in mind with it?

It turned out that that was exactly the case. She straddled me, inserted my dick into her pussy (unbelievable – it finally happened while I was awake), doffed her T-shirt and started to ride me.

The sensation on my dick wasn´t bad. Actually, it was quite nice, even a little nicer than the feeling caused my my own ministrations. But the view was what really stunned me. Apart from some sneak peeks into generous cleavages I had never seen nude boobs live. And here I was – under a girl openly showing me hers. Okay, she wouldn´t have qualified for a Russ Meyer movie. But that didn´t matter. I had no specific taste in boobs anyway and was just thankful for the opportunity to watch some. They were rather small, but very pretty. I even dared to lift my hands towards them, boldly toying with the idea to actually touch them. She caught my movement, smiled and pushed her chest downwards into my hands. Wow. Boobs. In my hands. I felt like I finally had become a man. Years of embarrassing situations while trying to avoid talking about the subject were now a thing of the past.

Okay, as I have explained, my own mind wasn´t exactly crazy with lust at the time, despite the unfamiliar sensations. So I started to take things over, slowed her movements down and started to grind her clit on the root of my cock. I had spent a lot of research and time on the matter because I wanted to make things right in the unlikely case that I ever got laid.

“Peter, you don´t…”

Surprised, I stopped the movement. “What´s wrong? Have I hurt you?”

“No, quite the opposite. Peter, you´ve brought me to four orgasms last night this way. Just for your information, I´ve only had one before with a man and that was a small one. And then you come along and totally fuck my brains out. And then you fall asleep without having your own. I felt so bad. Please, let me bring you off, okay?”

Oh, that shed a whole new light on the “painful” remark and on last night´s events. That didn´t sound too bad, actually. I certainly hadn´t suffered from the blue balls symptom while I was asleep.

“Okay,” I simply said, knowing which kind of task lay ahead of her. She started to ride my dick in earnest now, using long strokes. Sure enough, these were the right ones to bring me off. I just hoped she had no other plans for the coming half or full hour.

As it turned out, she hadn´t. And even while applying the long strokes, she came to another climax after about half an hour. I knew that because I could see the alarm clock while I thought about the things I needed to do that day. As I said, my brain was generally quite unimpressed by my cock´s actions. Maybe I was some kind of male frigid.

After 45 minutes I felt that things became tiring and it might be time to come to a conclusion. So I thought about various erotic things, looked at her boobs, played with them and finally came to my own, slightly less than overwhelming climax.

After the sex I wanted to cuddle a little when it occured me that we had never actually kissed. Those things were what I really craved. Intimacy with a girl, affection, some tenderness.

But the girl without a name jumped out of the bed immediately, maybe sensing my plans and ran straight into her shower. I remained in bed slightly disappointed and watched my dick slowly starting to deflate. I knew that this process could take quite some time.

“You know that you´re quite big, right?” she asked while entering the room again. She was still naked and was towelling her hair.

“I´m about 1.75 meters.”

She laughed. “No, I mean your dick.”

“Oh. You think so?” I had never deemed that important.

“The biggest I´ve seen so far.”

“Oh, really?” But the news didn´t excite me overly. It was obviously working fine and that was enough for me.

“Yes. I don´t know if it results from it, but sex with you is marvelous. A totally different league than with the other guys.”

“Oh, thank you.” Wow, that sounded like she had chosen complete losers only until now. And as a certified member of that group it explained why I was in her bed as well.

She just smiled.

“Um, I´d like to ask something.”

“Go ahead, Peter. Feel free to ask.”

“What´s your name?” I just hoped she wouldn´t get angry. But in fact, she just looked dazzled and then started to laugh like crazy. I joined in a little, more out of politeness.

“Julia,” she said after having calmed down a little, wiping the tears from her eyes.

“Thanks. Ah, Julia, I really like you.”

She suddenly turned serious. “Peter, I´m not looking for a relationship. But if you want to have sex, just call me, okay?”

“Okay.” I tried not to let her know how disappointed I was. Okay, it was to be expected, I was just too ugly to be kissed or seen with in public. The sad thing was, I was certain that it would take me at least another 22 years until I would get my second chance to find a girl. But hey, at least I was no virgin any more. That was as unexpected as it was welcome.


The 22 year prediction turned out to be not exactly true.

I was hanging around on campus when I spotted Julia passing by, chatting with another girl. The other one was nice and pleasant to look at as well. The kind of girl that wouldn´t give me the time of the day under usual circumstances. She was a little bigger than Julia in every direction and had blond hair just reaching her shoulders. While she was no raving beauty, she certainly was pretty.

Julia pointed me out and left for another building. The other girl advanced me straight and waved a little. I quickly turned around to check if anyone of interest stood behind me, but there was just a brick wall. Assuming I was at least slightly more interesting than the wall, I dared to wave back. The girl was laughing.

“Hey, I´m Emmy,” she said, extending her hand.

“Um, Peter,” I said while shaking it in disbelief. What was going on here? A nice girl was not supposed to address me. I quickly had the urge to check if I hadn´t mistakenly put on a George Clooney mask in the morning.

“Nice to meet you, Peter. You have any lectures this afternoon?”

“Yeah, one. But it´s not important.”

“Good, You can skip it?”

“Well, I could maybe.”

“Great. I live right over there.”

Interesting information. But why was it given at this time? What was going on here?

“Let´s go,” she just said, taking my hand and pulling me along.


I would have to consider to start smoking, I thought. I hated it, but here I was, lying in the bed of a girl I hardly knew. Just having had sex with her after having met her only minutes before. She was lying by my side, still quivering in a weird way and playing leisurely with her pussy. I had licked her to two orgasms and fucked her to three more. The process had taken almost an hour and had left me throughly exhausted. As usual, I had problems to come myself and wasn´t exactly swept away with the experience when it finally happened. But it was sure nice to watch her quite large boobs shake and her face distorted in ecstasy. What could be a more appropriate time for a cigarette than this?

She was still in lala land. I had to recognize that my fucking skills had improved since my first time with Julia. And I wondered if more buzz marketing would happen after today and more strange girls would pull me into their beds. Well, why not? Worse things were thinkable. And maybe one day one of them would even not be too repulsed by me to avoid my need for kisses and closeness. I omitted to ask Emmy for our long-term relationship prospects, just used her shower and left her small apartment.


It turned out that Julia and Emmy also had a close friend named Maria. Like her friends she was way too pretty for me and generally looked like her name led me to expect. Dark, long, wavy hair, full lips and a nice body. Maria was graciously taken into the group that had access to the human dildo named Peter under the condition of total confidence. Needless to say, none of them wanted to be seen with me in public or kiss me. But they had worked out a very professional looking schedule regarding my usage. They even traded slots for small favors. I was just glad that at least no money was involved. I felt bad enough about being some merchandise for the girls. Being a whore and them being my pimps would have been too much.

So for a few months my nights were quite busy. In fact, there was not a single night that I didn´t have sex with one of them. Sadly, all those nights ended alone in my own bed. None of them wanted to spend a whole night with me. At one time one of my shifts with Maria was given to Julia, who needed some consolation because of trouble with her boyfriend. Shit. Of course, I did it. I would have been an idiot not to. But it still felt bad that they used me to cheat on their boyfriends. Well, at least one boyfriend, I had been unable to determine if Maria and Emmy were in a relationship. Which was what I craved to be in myself. Yeah, I know that I should have stepped up and stopped the charade, but what would I have gained? I would have joined the endless mass of un-laid, wanking students again. So I continued to endure being forced to have sex with three pretty girls all the time, even though the situation was less than perfect. Quite bizarre, huh?