All his life Tom has been haunted by one single concept more than any other. Like most men, he has a soft spot in his heart for romance (but please don’t let our secret out). However, also like most men, romance alone doesn’t usually “stoke the furnace”…at least not the way it does for most women. This “men are from Mars, women are from Venus” rule of the universe has always seemed to be God’s little joke on the procreating men and women of this crazy little planet of ours. And so has it been for Tom.

He has always known that women love romance, and that many of them are quite turned on by it. So, he’s always done his best to see that his women have had more than enough romantic moments and events to get their juices flowing. However, what always turned his women on, didn’t necessarily do the same for him. After many a romantic evening, when his current woman was feeling warm and loving, the inevitable would follow. However, though the romance of the evening would bring out a desire for sweet, warm, loving sex on his lady’s part…sadly, it didn’t have the same effect on him. The romance was only the kindling. Once the flames began to burn, the desire was not for softness and sensuality…but for raw, unbridled passion. Whether straight or kinky, Tom liked his sex straight up and with no apologies. In short, romance would start the sequence, but without hot, nasty shenanigans….there would be no liftoff. And since many women didn’t understand this…or wish to comply with it…liftoff seldom occurred in his sad and lonely life. But, even though such was the case, and it was depressing in itself, Tom knew deep down that he was a molten, volcanic lover. He just needed the right woman. Unfortunately, that woman was hard…very hard…to find.

But miracles do happen. And so it was that he met Lisa. One day while checking out old movie stills at a major, out of state sci-fi convention, he bumped into – literally – the woman who would become the final, green “go” button in his quest for that ever elusive liftoff.

He was just backing away from a dealer’s table, forcing himself to battle back the urge to buy several one sheets from PSYCHO, SCREAM AND SCREAM AGAIN and THE CRAWLING EYE, when his backside collided with another, eliciting a feminine “Oh!” from someone directly behind him.

Realizing immediately that he’d touched bottoms with a female of the species, he had his apology prepared before he had even completely turned around. But, when he came face to face with the owner of the cheeks his had just tried to get to know, her smile disarmed him. Her eyes had a devilish twinkle in them. Her full lips seemed to hide something behind their smile. With her head cocked to one side, she spoke before he had a chance to.

“Well,” she said, “I think that could’ve been done better.”

Tom smiled wryly, slightly taken aback, and replied, “Um…I’m sor….uh…what could’ve been done better?”

“The fanny bump, silly. If you’re going to attack my behind with yours, at least do it slower so we both can enjoy it. You know, take your time and savor it.” She winked and smiled. Her eyes danced and sparkled. Before Tom could reply, she whirled and walked away. As she moved away from him, Tom’s eyes zeroed in on the bottom that had just introduced itself to his. Those round globes appeared to be trying to break free of the jeans that held them prisoner. It was a nice, cute, round bottom, and it bounced ever so sweetly…though, he noted with a sigh, it was definitely headed in the wrong direction. Just as he was musing about how pleasant those cheeks would be to spank and ride, the woman turned and caught him smiling at her ass. She stopped momentarily, as if inviting him to say something or pursue her, but then turned and continued moving away.

When Tom turned back to the one sheet dealer, he felt the edge of the table brushing up against his crotch. Looking down, he was embarrassed to see that he had an erection, and it was that telltale bulge which was bumping up against the edge of the table. Smiling, he wondered if he’d had the erection when the woman glanced back at him…and even moreso he wondered if she noticed. But most of all, if she did notice it, was that why she hesitated as if she wanted to know him, or was it the reason she ultimately turned away? Questions, questions.

Try as he did not to, Tom spent entirely too much at the convention. His will power succumbed to the temptation of so many wonderful collectibles and memorabilia. Apparently, he was as weak with his collecting habits as he was in his inability to curb his extreme sexual needs. Oh, well, he thought, “I yam what I yam”. He chuckled at yet another example of his own preoccupation with all things in the field of entertainment and animation. Gathering up his booty in his arms, he trudged out of the dealers’ room and headed for his lonely hotel room.

Other conventioneers – Trekkies, gore-hounds, anime and animation fans, classic horror aficionados and just plain freaks – were crammed into the one working elevator at the North end of the lobby. It was a tight fit, but Tom didn’t want to wait for the elevator to drop off its human cargo and then return. He had too many valuable prizes in his hands, a few of which were trying valiantly to escape his desperate grasp. So, into the sardine-like environment he went, doing his best to protect his treasures from the pressing bodies.

Two floors later, and with the elevator lighter by half its weight in bodies, Tom noticed that about three feet away from him was the woman with the lush derriere that he’d bumped into earlier. He decided to talk to her, see if maybe there was some chemistry there after all. But, as he stepped nearer to her and opened his mouth to speak, fate stepped in. One of his new collectors’ acquisitions decided to make a break for freedom.

With Tom’s mouth open to begin introducing himself, a framed, autographed 8 X 10 photo of Boris Karloff in THE OLD DARK HOUSE slipped from his grasp and threatened to fall shattering to the floor. In a fit of panic, he lunged for the photo as it rushed floorward. The photo was content to cradle itself in the crook of his bent arm and nestle comfortably there, apparently unwilling to die a shattering death. But Tom’s clutching hand was not privy to this information until it was much too late.

As yet unaware that the photo had arrested its own fall, Tom’s grasping fingers continued along on the picture’s previous trajectory and squeezed where they thought the photo would be when they got there. MIssing the instigating photo by a mile, their prize instead turned out to be the woman’s understandably surprised bottom. At one time hoping to explore possibilities with this woman, Tom was now embarrassed to realize that, clutching her left cheek as he was, those possibilites were rapidly fading into unrealized hopes.

To make matters worse, when he realized what he’d done, Tom froze…with his fingers still squeezing butt cheek. Mortified, he was looking dumbly at the woman as she quite rapidly whirled to face him. His eyes were the size of golf balls and his jaw was dropped, hanging comically even lower than the jaw of the Scream character in the movie of the same name. The woman’s impression of him as she looked at him was that if he was a pervert, he was certainly a stupid one. But her angry, slitted eyes softened when she saw who it was. By this time, others in the elevator had noticed the commotion and were looking on, interestedly…or maybe with amused anticipation. Surely, they thought, this woman was going to bludgeon the fanny-groping perv.

Thankfully for Tom, he did not receive a pummeling in the elevator. Chances are, the woman’s fists would have simply glanced off of him anyway, such was the profuse amount of sweat that was accumulating all over Tom’s body. It was a tiny miracle in itself that there wasn’t a pool of it around his feet.

“You can let go now,” was all the woman quietly said. Once again, her smile disarmed him. His sweating stopped, and his eyes and jaw returned to normal. Somewhat reluctantly, his fingers released her buttock. The other occupants of the elevator sighed with disappointment and turned back to staring at the opening and closing doors. Sadly, though there was some brief entertainment, there would be no perv-bashing today.

The woman continued, still in a soft, quiet voice, “But at least you did take my advice…sort of. Unlike the quick bump in the dealers’ room, at least this time you savored my butt. You really have quite a grip there, sport.”

“I’m….so….soooooo….sorry,” Tom stammered, finally able to swallow and speak.

“Sorry about what? You obviously liked my ass when you saw it earlier, and you finally got up the nerve to go for it. I just wish you didn’t squeeze it so hard.” She smiled slyly as she rubbed her cheek.

“Well…I mean…I wasn’t trying to…It was my Karloff photo…I didn’t want it to….I mean…honest…I wouldn’t….”

The woman laughed, winking and saying, “Sure, sport…you didn’t want to touch my ass, did you? No, you just stared at it like you wanted to jump it in the dealer room, and now this little grab maneuver of yours was completely an accident, right? Come on,hon….I wasn’t born yesterday.” She was clearly enjoying herself at his expense.

“I swear!” Tom blurted. The entire conversation was eliciting low chuckles from the other riders in the elevator, some of whom had stayed on past their floors, just to listen and see the outcome.

“Yeah, yeah,” the woman continued, “Look…if you want to play with my ass, just say so. But, be honest about it. I can live with that. I can even accept a little playful grope, but just admit you did it on purpose.”

Tom looked around at the other people, all of them smirking and laughing into their hands. All right, he thought, if I’m not going to get credit for honesty, I’ll give them all a show…even cute butt here. She’ll be sorry she embarrassed me. Oh, yeah.

“All right,” he said, “I confess. When I saw that butt of yours wiggling away from me in the dealers’ room, I was devastated. I wanted to jump you right there. I wanted to throw you on the ground and squeeze and bite your ass. Yup…I wanted to rip your clothes off and see what your naked cheeks taste like. And then I wanted to go even further…maybe spank those cheeks, among other things. So there…I admit it. I grabbed your ass because I couldn’t bear not to at least fondle it if I can’t do anything else to it. So, what’re you gonna do…call hotel security?” All the embarrassment and shame of the moment boiled up inside him in the form of defiance. He didn’t care at that point what ANYONE in the elevator thought.

That disarming smile again snuck across the woman’s lips. This time, her tongue could be seen dancing just inside her cheek. That earlier twinkle returned to her pretty eyes. Again she cocked her head to one side. Again quietly, she said, “What’s your name, fanny groper?”

Tom was too busy seething with righteous – though humiliated – rage to understand the question at first. But when he finally did, he stammered, “Tom…I’m Tom.” He looked confused, as if he had no clue what his name had to do with anything.

“Well, Tom, I like your candor. I think you’re kinda cute, and I like the way you pursue what you want. Now, do you really want to get acquainted with my ass? Is what you just said true, or were you only babbling?”

“Okay, I’ve seen enough,” one of the other passengers said. “Me too,” another said with a chuckle, “I’m outta here.” That being the general consensus of opinion, the elevator cleared out in the next two floors. Apparently, two people possibly getting it on was too common and mundane to be of interest…certainly not as entertaining as an angry woman beating the snot out of a pervert. So, the fun was over, and off they went to their respective rooms, not giving the encounter another thought.

“Well,” Tom admitted, “I was kinda babbling…but the basic sentiment was true.”

“Really? Well, Tom, I’m flattered. Actually, I rather like your ass, too. You have a nice, full ass…one I might enjoy playing with, too. Besides, you owe me the chance to grope your ass, just like you groped mine. Fair’s fair.”

Tom was now beginning to warm up to things….to possibilities. “Well,” he said, “I have to admit that your ass is the kind I’d like to play with for a while. But, I don’t know if you’d like me much. I’m way too kinky for most women.” His mouth produced a wry smile and his eyes looked almost puppyish.

“Mmmmm…my middle name is ‘kinky’. I have no problem with that. I’m Lisa, by the way.”

“Hi, Lisa. Nice to meet you. But I mean….well….I’m sorry, but, well….romantic sex just doesn’t do it for me. I need kinky, hot and nasty sex. I’m sorry if that sounds as sick to you as it does to me, but….”

“Tom, honey…I love nasty.”

Tom stopped his apologetic rambling. He grinned from ear to ear. For the first time since he clumsily pawed Lisa’s bottom, his mind was beginning to rearrange itself. He saw the possibilities much more clearly now. And what deliciously kinky possibilities they were. But what he couldn’t see, was that Lisa had a few ideas of her own as to what those possibilities could be. Yes, her own ideas…ideas that Tom might not be prepared for.

Thinking he’d better act before the opportunity was gone, he leered at Lisa and asked bluntly, “Your room or mine?” It was forty percent joking, and sixty percent serious, and he certainly didn’t think she would go for it. At best he expected her to smile and shake her head…maybe tease him a little, but ultimately balk at even the suggestion that they actually become physically entwined in any way. He was pleasantly surprised by her response.

“Oh….definitely mine, Tom. I’m always prepared just in case I have a sweaty encounter with a sweet, pervy guy like you,” she replied, not missing a beat. It was as if Tom’s lecherous come-on was not only expected, but quite welcome. Lisa turned to face the door, watching the lighted floor indicator blink from floor to floor. She backed up so that she was only inches away from Tom’s collectible-laden chest, even though the elevator was empty except for her, him, and his precious memorabilia.

The ride up the next several floors was quiet, the two of them breathing heavily but not speaking. When the doors opened on the twentieth floor, Lisa said, “My floor, hon. You sure you want to go ahead with this? After all, I might be kinkier than you.”

Boldly, Tom replied, “Lisa, I meant what I said about pouncing on your ass. I’m getting hot just thinking about your buns outside of those jeans.” He was amazed at his own boldness. He was never a shy man, but this was out and out lascivious behavior…not like him at all.

“Uh huh. Me too..thinking about yours.” She reached up and circled her arms around his neck, giving him a quick peck on the lips. She then moved to his side and brought her hands down and squeezed his ass…both cheeks…firmly and without guilt. She slowly fondled them, as if she had every right to. She smiled an approving smile. “Mmm…just as I thought. Great buns, sport.

“Oh, and by the way,” she added as the elevator doors hissed open and she led him out into the corridor, “did you mean that little comment about spanking my ass? Is that something on your agenda, Tom?” Her eyes twinkled.

“Actually,” he replied, adjusting his tenuous grasp on his purchased goodies, “yes. I’m kind of into spanking a nice bottom.”

“Hmmm..” she returned, “and when my cheeks are all hot and pink and burning…will you rub and kiss them to make them all better?”

“Of course,” Tom replied, the bulge in his pants beginning anew.

“And lick them, too….thoroughly….no stone unturned?” she sighed, stopping to nibble his earlobe.

“Um….oh, yeah,” he sighed in return, the bulge tightening his pants considerably.

“Mmmmmmmmm……wonderful. Then come along. Let’s get to my room quickly, shall we?”

When they finally reached Lisa’s room, Tom was about to drop his treasures. Lisa opened the door quickly, watching his awkward entrance into the room with amusement. He rushed over to the first thing he saw, the bed, and dropped one collector’s piece after another, until his arms were empty. Lisa sauntered slowly up behind him. As he rubbed his arms, sore from trying to squeeze his previous cargo to keep it from falling, she came up close to him and once again began squeezing his buns.

“Very nice,” she said, smiling up at him, her eyes twinkling with a most delicious look in them.

“Thank you,” he said, “they’re not great, but they’ll do.”

“I beg to differ,” she replied. “I’d be happy to suck on those cheeks, honey. Why not get these bothersome old jeans off and let me have a taste? Of course, fair IS fair, and I’d do likewise.”

“That ALL you wanna suck? My cheeks?” He smirked.

“Tom, Tom, Tom….you know not to whom you speak. I can suck your cheeks AND your cock…over and over and over again. Now,” she suggested, pressing the tip of her index finger against the tip of his nose, “how ’bout you strip and I’ll see which I should suck first?”

“Sure…but I want to see your ass….and your…well…your pussy….too. As you said, fair is fair.”

Lisa smiled defiantly, turning her back to him as she slowly removed her blouse. Next, her back still to him, she took off her bra. She kicked off her sandals and stopped briefly, looking down at her feet with a smile. She held out one foot and wiggled her toes, as if admiring them. When Tom saw this, he was confused but amused.

“What are you doing?” he chuckled.

“Hmm? Oh, nothing,” she replied, “I just think I have cute toes. Don’t you agree?” She held her foot out further and lifted it a bit, wiggling her toes more enthusiastically for his benefit.

“Yes,” he laughed, “your toes are very cute, Lisa.”

“Good. Then, along with my ass and pussy, you won’t mind sucking them, too?”

The question caught Tom by surprise, but he recovered quickly. The idea of sucking Lisa’s toes along with every other part of her certainly had its merits. He had no problem with it. He liked every inch of a woman’s body..and the toes were no exception. He opened his mouth to reply in the affirmative, but Lisa cut him short, turning around and saying, “And these? You’ll suck these, too, correct?” She cupped her breasts in her hands, pushing them up, squeezing them, aiming the erect nipples at him. Tom almost bit his tongue.

“Oh…oh, yeah…I’ll surely suck those…your toes too. In fact, I’ll suck any part of you you like, hon.”

“Mmmm…good. Well? What are you waiting for? Hurry up. I want to suck all of you, too.”

Tom’s fingers were like greased lightning, unbuttoning buttons that seemed to be deliberately delaying him. As he fumbled with those plastic conspirators, Lisa turned back around and started removing her pants. Slowly, teasingly, she unclasped and lowered the tight jeans. Keeping her legs unbent, she slid her pants down her legs with agonizing slowness, purposely wiggling her bottom at Tom as she did.

His hands, having finally conquered the stubborn shirt buttons, were trembling visibly as they unhooked and unzipped his jeans, his eyes cartoonishly bulging as he watched Lisa destroy every last vestige of his will power. She clearly enjoyed doing it, too, taking complete, unspoken control of his fevered psyche, watching his obviously enamored eyes fondle every curve of her ass.

Kicking her lowered jeans aside, Lisa then proceeded to tantalize the poor boy by lowering her panties even more slowly, wiggling her succulent ass from side to side as she bared it, inch by inch, to Tom’s adoring stare. As she lowered the back portion of her panties just below the rounded bottom curve of her buttocks, she left the panties there and brought her hands up to slowly, enticingly, caress her cheeks. Gyrating slowly from side to side, she even grasped those soft buns firmly and spread them ever so slightly, showing her horny captive an oh so sweet orifice he might fill for her. She tortured poor Tom for what seemed an eternity, rubbing her ass and thighs, spreading herself, jiggling playfully as she dropped her panties to the floor. She even slipped several fingers between her legs and moved them around in the pink folds of her mind-captivating sex. Tom was becoming a drooling, slobbering idiot by the time she kicked her panties in the general direction that her pants had gone.